What My Dental Nightmare Taught Me About Money

*Written by an actual human, not AI*

Pain has a way of forcing us into situations we'd otherwise have avoided. It's a catalyst for growth and because growth means change, that's scary for many.

I have an extreme fear of the dentist. As in, there was a time in my adult life where I was simultaneously paying for dental insurance and avoiding going to the dentist. FOR YEARS. So you can imagine the perspiration when I discovered the 3.5 hour long process of installing a crown - which I'd endured a mere 40 days ago - wasn't effective and I'd need a root canal.

There were signs during those 40 days something wasn't right (there's a bible joke in there somewhere): Sensitivity to hot and cold. Waking up in the middle of the night with a throbbing jaw. Inability to chew on one side of my mouth.

I ignored the signs. For weeks. The cost of avoiding the truth was quietly compounding while I told myself it was nothing.

Let me tell you - I'm a MASTER at gaslighting myself. I was FINE and in no rush to return to the place where sounds and smells alike offend. Not to mention everyone wears masks so you can't even tell if they have healthy teeth (an obvious must-have for all competent dentists… amiright?)

Then one day, I decided I was tired of rotating acetaminophen and ibuprofen every 3 hours. Only when the pain was so acute was I willing to advocate for myself and go back to the dentist, finally choosing discomfort in service of relief instead of discomfort in service of avoidance.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin

Our relationship with money can be a lot like this. Pain that we're willing to ignore until we can't anymore, when our own “financial root canal” moment forces us to pay attention.

Sometimes it's easier keeping those purchases quiet because telling our partner would be a fight. Or we endure the pain of staying in a job we hate because it affords our lifestyle. Or we don't open those bills, postponing the pain of facing how much debt we have. All of these are different versions of the same thing: delaying the truth because we’re afraid of what it might demand of us.

It's completely normal to be scared to discuss your financial situation. Talking about it makes it real. Vulnerability has a way of surfacing emotions we like to avoid feeling - like shame and fear of judgment - because facing these emotions can be terrifying. And yet, those same conversations are often the doorway to the peace we say we want.

But what if most of that fear was simply from not knowing what COULD be - what might change if you had clarity, support, and a plan?

If you desire financial peace but keep getting discouraged that your honest attempts at changing things on your own aren't working, you're not alone. And you're not bad with money or incompetent. You’ve just been trying to do something hard without all the information and support you deserve.

You need a new set of eyes on the problem you're trying to solve. Financial counselors like me (or thousands of others) can see your blind spots and are professionally trained to get to the root of your challenges while walking you through the possibilities of all that could be. This is the work I do every day with clients who are tired of carrying the pain of money stress by themselves. You simply have to be willing to push through the discomfort.

Learn from my experience - choose to advocate for yourself (and your family) before it becomes too painful to do anything else. I promise - there is so much good (and less pain!) on the other side of your fears, and pain can become the very thing that leads you into the growth and freedom you’ve been hoping for.